Or when my life got in the way

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

So. I haven’t written very much over the last six weeks, primarily because my offline life got more stressful. At my day job, I now work with a different team. I’m currently doing more time-sensitive and detail-oriented work than I’d done before, so it’s taking up more of my energy. However, that isn’t the main reason for my disappearance because usually, I’d still have the emotional and mental space to create.

The main reason I haven’t written much has to do with my personal life. My uncle, my father’s oldest brother, passed away at the end of February from dementia…

The Atlanta mass shooting of six Asian women highlights the disconnect among Asians and other communities of color


I’ve struggled for over a week about voicing my opinion on the mass shooting in Atlanta, where eight people were killed in a spa, six of them Asian women. It’s sickening that even in a pandemic, hardly anyone is safe from white male violence.

And yes, it’s enraging that once again, people want to make excuses for Robert Aaron Long, the shooter, because of his race and gender. Claiming he had a “bad day” or “he had a sex addiction and just…

Policing what we do with our money is racist and classist

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I checked my bank account yesterday to see if my $1400 stimulus check from the historic $1.9 trillion dollar relief bill arrived. Some friends of mine on social media announced that they received theirs last weekend but my bank chose not to make the money available until yesterday. It’s now sitting in my account, ready to use.

I am privileged in that I don’t need the money to stave off eviction or buy food, but others do. Yet, I’ve come across people on the interwebs who are already shaming…

On why forgiveness can end up erasing one’s pain and trauma and does not hold wrongdoers accountable

Photo by Eddie Kopp on Unsplash

My therapist recently assigned me homework to write a letter that forgave me for actions and beliefs that caused me harm during my youth.

When told of the assignment, I recoiled because my thoughts on forgiveness have shifted dramatically in recent years.

For instance, my sister and I have a complicated relationship. Growing up, we were night and day. While I read books, got good grades in school, and stayed in the background, my sister partied, got mediocre to poor grades and drifted to the forefront of any environment she entered.

We grew more distant in adulthood as our lives…

In being kind and gentle with my younger self regarding my asexuality

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I’m at a crossroads.

I first came upon asexuality as a sexual orientation six years ago. The process of accepting this part of myself is a slow one. The fact that I still struggle with my aceness is partly due to the fact that there are so few representations of ace people in the media. Nobody thinks an ace person looks anything like me. In all of the ace groups I come across online, I’m usually one of the few BIPOC as well as one of the oldest…

Months or weeks that celebrate marginalized groups can be a double edged sword

Photo by Bulgn/Shutterstock

The thought that older people tend to be more conservative centers on white people

Image from Shutterstock

“If you are not a liberal when you are young, you have no heart, and if you are not a conservative when old, you have no brain.”

That quote has been attributed to several people, Winston Churchill among them. But the notion that people get more conservative with age has gnawed at me for years. When I was younger, I took the axiom to mean that the shift toward pragmatism and the intolerance of ambiguity and uncertainty were unavoidable once I got to a certain age. …

Not all asexuals are regarded as children

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

During a recent conversation, I heard the following complaint,

“I’m sick of being infantilized because I’m asexual.”

Infantilization is a common complaint among asexuals. Since all people are deemed inherently sexual, those who don’t experience sexual or romantic attraction feel they’ve missed a crucial step in their development. Or that they lack the maturity to interact with adults in a meaningful way.

A significant problem with this heteronormative mindset is that asexuality gets treated as a phase since sex and romance are considered rites of passage. It’s believed that once the asexual person “finds the right person,” they’ll “snap out…

White supremacy is at a crossroads as racists fight among themselves

Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images

White people, I have a few questions.

Why don’t y’all respect the police? During the recent insurrection at the United States Capitol building, some of your skinfolk dragged a police officer down a flight of stairs, then beat the person with the American flag. I thought your people revered law and order. Aren’t you the group that believes that law enforcement is infallible? That Blue Lives Matter? The rampage at the Capitol shattered my perceptions of a supposedly non-violent group.

Now I have to ask, why do white people…

What the coup attempt at the Capitol says about us

Photo by MIKE STOLL on Unsplash

As a Black woman, my feelings about the United States are extremely complicated. As much as I want to love this country, I can’t summon that emotion because the institutions that are purported to serve all of our people, don’t serve those that look like me.

However, I don’t think I was ever more disgusted with this country than I was yesterday.

Yesterday, Congress met to formally count the Electoral votes for Joe Biden’s election. It’s a ceremonial event and usually would never make the news cycle. However, our current White House resident had to show his ass.

Trump held…

Vena Moore

Dismantling white, male supremacy one word at a time.

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